yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Randomize
