I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Randomize
