Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
Randomize