I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
