Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize
