8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
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