I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
You need a sexual gate keeper
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Randomize
