Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
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