peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Randomize
