my mouth tastes like poor choices
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
Randomize
