WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
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