Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
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