Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
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