wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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