I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
Randomize
