is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
You were trust falling into bushes
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
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