Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Randomize