I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
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