This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
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