Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
Randomize
