i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Randomize
