i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
We're too hungover to prance.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
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