just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
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