I heard we made out
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
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