so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
Randomize