Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
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