i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
Randomize
