Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
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