My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
Randomize
