YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
Randomize
