You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Randomize
