i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
So much rum. So many feels.
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Randomize
