Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
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