she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
