David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
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