And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Randomize
