I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
Randomize
