I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Randomize
