I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
