My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
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