Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
Randomize
