we're blogging at a bar
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
