the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
Randomize
