Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
i think i have herpe
just one?
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
