Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
