3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Randomize
