there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
he was CRYING into my vagina
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
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