I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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