You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
You are the jesus of drinking
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
Randomize
