Dude. I just woke up without a shirt or bra on. Apparently I fell asleep with a quesadilla in my mouth. I can feel my liver hating me.
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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