I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Randomize
