Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
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