If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize
