She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
