so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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