You're so nebulous sometimes
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Randomize
