I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Randomize
