Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
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