i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
