there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
