you guys were way drunker than both of me
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
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